Rush Limbaugh quotes Sir Mix-a-lot. says Michelle Obama is a fine MF & he’d love 2 ‘back dat a$$ up’!


Rush limbaugh is an African-American DJ who has a talk show on sum ‘urban’ radio station like Hot 97. well i guess he wanted to quote some 90’s rapper ‘flow’ in regards to 1st lady Michelle Obama and her ‘soul food diet program’. ON AIR he complemented her ample ‘backside’ and it is believed that he said something to the effect that:

“So Cosmo says you’re fat
Well I ain’t down with that!
‘Cause your waist is small and your curves are kickin’
And I’m thinkin’ bout stickin’
To the beanpole dames in the magazines:
You ain’t it, Miss Thing!
Give me a sister, I can’t resist her
Red beans and rice didn’t miss her

Girl, you looks good, won’t you back that a$$ up
You’se a fine mother effer, won’t you back that a$$ up
Call me big daddy when you back that a$$ up
Hoe, who is you playing with, back that a$$ up
Girl, you looks good, won’t you back that a$$ up
You’se a fine mother effer , won’t you back that a$$ up
Call me big daddy when you back that a$$ up
Girl, who is you playing with back that a$$ up
Girl, you looks good, won’t you back that a$$ up
You’se a fine mother effer, won’t you back that ass up” -russell limbaughs

are u unable to lie? that u undeniably like BIG BUTS?

do u think General Barry Obamas should be pissed abt rush ‘mackin’ 2 his ladie? or should he be flattered?

r u glad Michelle Obama is putting ‘soul’ back into school lunches??

Honey, does this blog post make my a$$ look fat or phat??
do u like more cushion 4 the pushing? or do u like more bounce for the ounce?

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It’s a Girl! Mark Zuckerberg is the now the proud papa of little Facebook jr!


congratulations are in order for Facemash creator Mark Zuckerberg. It seems he has fathered an ‘illegitimate’ child while he was over in Egypt starting riots against Count Mubarak.

Zuckerberg has been a total ‘chick magnet’ since he ‘started the facebook’ & became $$hood rich$$. so it was only a matter of time b4 he knocked up 1 of his many facebook groupies. this time it seems 2 have been an egyptian woman.

according to this article the Zuckyberg’s ‘baby mama’ has decided to name the child Facebook after her father:

“Looking for a name for their newborn daughter that celebrated the recent events in Egypt, an Alexandria couple skipped calling her “Tahrir Square” for something a little more trendy — Facebook.

Baby Facebook’s father, Jamal Ibrahim, told Egypt’s Al-Ahram newspaper that he “wanted to express his gratitude about the victories the youth of January 25 have achieved and chose to express it in the form of naming his firstborn girl,” according to a translation by the blog TechCrunch.

i guess it’s sort of how will smith named his son willow smith and had her star in the will smith biopic:’the karate kids’.
i wonder if little Facebook jr. will star in The Social Network 2.

egyptians like mark zuckerberg have a long history of making babies that dates back to egytian times. Ramesses II aka as Ramesses the Great who lived like 100 years ago is believed to have had like over 50 sons and 50 daughters* (*note: it is not yet known if any of Ramesses daughters were named Facebook).

is naming ur baby after ur successful tech/web company gonna be a new trend?
like how steve jobs and gwyneth paltrow-jobs named their daughter Applestore Paltrow-Jobs?

would u date a chick named facebook/youtube/google/palmpilot/qwyneth/will smith?
r u rlly jelly of the woman who got knocked up by mark zuckyberg? do u wish u could have a bb with markie so u would get tons of ‘facebook dollars’ to spend on ur farmville account?

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#WhenHatersAttack: ppl rlly h8 musician Scott Walkers new album!


so Scott Walker is like a ‘respected’ elder bro in the music scene. he hails from the UK but i guess he was having a concert/record release party in Wisconsin or something bc all these h8rs showed up and we’re like ‘u suck’/’don’t quit ur day job’/’up yours bro’/’eat a dic’/’You’re Fired!’/’hug it out bitch’.

(full disclaimer: i actually enjoy scott walkers music on a personal level 4realz yall)
that’s why i was like what the eff is up with all these h8rs??
don’t they know scott walker is kewl?
he even got voted BestNewMusical for his album The Tokyo Drift on the influential tastemaking website

so it’s rlly messed up yall at how much people h8 him now.
just look at some of these ppl from the article:

this chick thinks scotty walker is a little bitch & is threatening to ‘butrape’/’packers his fudge’ him

this old person want’s to re-record scott walkers album and add tons of cowbell and turn the ‘scott walker’ knob waaaayyy down in the ‘mix’

this bro caught a bad case of walker syndrome from scott walker and now he’s rlly pissed

these mnstrm teens are like ‘don’t put your ___ up my ___ . i’m not of ‘legal’ age yet!’ & ‘You’re not my real DAD scott walker!!! i h8 u!’

have u heard his new record? did it make u want to make a cardboard ‘h8 speech’ sign?

rlly worried about Scottie Walkies. sad abt all this h8 in the music industry these days.
has the ‘sun set’ on scott walkerz career?

do u think the sun aint gonna be shine no more 4 scott walkers??



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Steve Jobs’ “i-dosing” drug lab EXPLODES! His house is destroyed! Jobs is M.I.A.!! OMG!!


steve jobs is sum old geeksquadā„¢ bro who made apple computers, ipods, ipads, iphones, and roombas. BUT NOW it has been learned that his main revenue stream was in the illicit ‘i-dosing’ market. it seems that mr. jobs had a major ‘i-dosing’ lab set up in his woodside, california home & he was cranking out tons & tons of i-dosing tracks everyday!! creating ‘i-doses’ although totally illegal can be very profitable but as we see in this situation it is a dangerous endeavor and one that can sometime ‘backfire’ and blow ur effin’ house up!

here’s an exclusive pic of what the steve jobs i-dosing lab prolly looked like after the explosion:

‘i-dosing’ is rlly tearing america apart. 4 years the DEA/CIA/FCC/CNN have been waging war against these digital drugs. a big problem in their investigations was that they had no idea who was making these ‘lethal’ i-doses but now after this tragedy they know it is Steve Jobs who was the ‘i-dosing’ mastermind. steve was no where to be seen when his house blew up and so if u see him please call the apple care hotline at 1-800-275-2273.

do u have an idosing problem? can u quit idosing anytime u want(but not rlly via addiction)?
have u ever idosed while pregnant/driving/praying/’on tha shitter’/during ‘home room’/at the Apple Store?

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#WebTrends: Glen Beck buys Googleā„¢ & plans to make it more Liberal


glen beck is this total ‘bleeding heart’ liberal blogger. but i guess he has tons of ca$h and so he thought it would be cool to buy Google. He wants to make it more ‘liberal’ & ‘right wing’.

according to the article he wants to start a google ‘terrorist cell’/taliban/volunteer fire department that will totally be all ‘up in yo sh!t’, read ur skype calls, peep in ur windows and ‘voyeur’/’eyball fuk u’.

“I’m really not sure that I want my search engine involved in government overthrows, good or bad,” he said. “I’m not afraid that Google is reading my email, or tapping your phone lines, or stealing Grandma’s recipes…what I’m starting to look at is Google and Google as a whole.”

will u still use google now that Glenjamin Beck owns it? or are u way into ‘asking jeeves’/cuil/’asking ur mom’ search engines?

r u worried abt ur grandmas ‘secret’ family recipes falling in2 glen beck’s soft hands?

or are grandma’s cookies way overrated & ‘racist’? is it time to get her out of the kitchen and into a ‘home’/’assisted living program’?

do u wish u could engineer a ‘search’ and be a industry leader instead of being stuck in ur dead-end 9 to 5 ‘working for the weekend’?
have u ever ‘googled’ urself? did it ‘feel’ good? did u ‘finish’/’happy ending’?

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#WarGames: r u ready 4 the impending Cyber War?!?!!?


just saw this article. full disclosure: i didn’t rlly actually ‘read it’ since it seemed too _____.
but i’m thinking that the G.I. Joe bros who run the military/pentagon/salvation army are trying to stay rlvnt and keep up with the times. they want to move warfare into a 2.0 version. this ‘new warfare style’ will prolly be along the lines of the movie Tron or Terminator 2 or The Kids Are Alright.

do u think years spend ‘honing’ ur skills on playstation/xbox/iphone/twitter has prepared u to be a true ‘cyber warrior’?

have u ever ‘hacked’ a terrorist with some rlly 1337 computer code 2 save america?

it truly is ‘Our world 2.0′ out there bros. tech evolves at rlly fast. before u know it the government will be ‘illegally’ downloading ur soul into a ‘borg’ 2 fight in the upcoming Cyber War.

r u ready to become ‘electric’? are u ready to ‘rock down 2 electric avenue’?
are u worried the price of ur ‘data’ plan is gonna go ‘thru the roof’ when u have to start using ur smartphone as a weapon to combat threats to american freedom?

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Life without Bordersā„¢?


so i just found out that this ‘print-based-media’ store is totally broke-a$$. did u know they still even made print-based books?
have u ever bought an actual ‘physical’ book? or are u just a ‘Kindling’ (via being a ‘kindle-worm’)?

according to this rlly informative financially-focused article Borders had problems with a lack of capitalization in its books and had a ‘lack of liquids’ in it’s business lunches and suffers from ‘acute stockmarket dehydration’:

“ā€œBorders Group does not have the capital resources it needs to be a viable competitor,ā€ President Mike Edwards said. He placed the blame primarily on lower customer spending and lack of liquidity.”

seems that medical book readers from the anti-borders h8 group ‘Doctors w/o Borders’ were very instrumental in the Bordersā„¢ downfall.

“h8 u Borders. we only read kindle-based books!” – an angry Dr. w/o boarding in his life

the article says that Bordersā„¢ should have embraced web-based e-commerce tools like spamming/phishing/fishing/fisting/malware/torrents/sexts/facebook/googlewave/pr0nographic cam shows sooner.

i guess Borders failed 2 realize the power of ‘electronic-media’ soon enough. maybe it’s run by a bunch of ‘old ppl’ who still ‘write letters’/buy CDs/use outhouses/are amish?
(the ceos of Bordersā„¢ feelin’ rlly bored at an e-book webinar)

r u sad abt borders? šŸ˜¦
do u belong to a ‘book club’? do they still have the Michelle Obama ‘book-it’ Pizza The Hut program 4 kids to earn tons of healthy pizza fat/calories if they read books?
wat is ur fav book?
r u an author and ur worried abt the book-revenue-model ‘goin down the sh!tter’???
have u ever burned a book 4 god/protest/fun/warmth/2get high?

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Obama decides 2 ‘pardon’ a bunch of criminals including George HW Bush. Barry-O claims they’ve ‘earned their freedom’.


barry obama is the prez of the U$A and with great power comes cool ‘lifehacks’ like pardoning dangerous criminals. so yeah it’s pretty f’d up yall but the law is set in stone and it allows for Barry to bestow ‘medals of freedom’ on imprisoned folks and set them free back in2 society. i guess he wanted to let loose 15 ‘convicts’. i rlly hope they are fully rehabbed & ready 4 life outside of the ‘big house’.

the article talks abt the ppl he freed. i guess they were a bunch of hardened criminals like Yo-Yo mom, and George H. Christ Bush:

“President Obama awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom on Tuesday to former President George H.W. Bush and 14 others, including poet Maya Angelou, cellist Yo-Yo Ma, investor Warren Buffett and basketball legend Bill Russell.”

do u think it’s a good idea to give the prezzydent a ‘get out of jail free’ card?

do u wonder what other ‘above the law’ stuff the president gets to do?

can he hunt & kill someone in a ‘most dangerous game’ and then pardon himself?
is he allowed to ‘legally’ drink & drive/prostitue himself/smoke dank buds/set a theater on fire/threaten 2 ‘kill’ the prez/ignore fbi warnings and freely duplicate vhs tapes????

“No one man should have all that power
The clockā€™s tickinā€™, I just count the hours
Stop trippinā€™, Iā€™m trippinā€™ off the power” – kanway west live from folsom prison.

r u sad that kanyea west/LiLo/T.I./charlie mansons/mumia/Varg Vikernes/bernie madoff/bernie sanders didn’t get pardoned with freedom medals?

is barry obamas a true freedom meddler or is he a freemason?
would u rather have freedom or free beer?
do the freedom medals come at a cost? or are they free?

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Will the ‘female’ condom be the new San Francisco treat?


so i guess ppl in san fran are super excited abt ‘female’ condoms and the city’s official ‘sex generals’ decided to give them 2 everyone in town… even ghey dudes. one has to wonder whether this enthusiasm is warranted especially 4 a contraceptive device that resembles a giant plastic bag that u put grocerys in.

the article describes female condoms as:

“The female condom is a plastic pouch that is used during intercourse to prevent pregnancy and reduce the risk of sexually transmitted diseases. It has flexible rings at each end. Just before vaginal intercourse, it is inserted deep into the vagina. The ring at the closed end holds the pouch in the vagina. The ring at the open end stays outside the vaginal opening during intercourse. And during anal intercourse, it is inserted into the anus.”

have u ever used a female condom? has n e one ever used a female condom? rlly have u ever even heard of one being used by anyone???
i wonder who manufactures them. are u mad that ur tax money is used 4 making female condoms instead of going towards education/starving ppl/roads/chemical weapons/al gore/poor wall street bros/peta?
if two ghey dudes use a female condom is it still called a female condom?
do they have shemale condoms?
does ‘don’t ask don’t tell’ apply when u use a ‘female’ condom for ghey sex?
is using a ‘female’ condom a sin? or is god/pope/palin ok with them cause it allows the peen to ‘breathe’ more during sex?

i kinda think female condoms are rlly pointless. like unless u have a grocery bag fetish u should prolly just ‘man up’ & just use a regular ‘male’ condom.

do u ever use ‘alternative condoms’ like saran wrap/water balloon/tin foil/tupperware/bubble wrap/fly paper? do they work ‘just as good’ but totally cheaper??

ā¤ my bubblewrap condom alternative

are u super hornie wen u think abt ‘the idea’ of a female condom?
are ‘female’ condoms the most important thing to happen in womyn’s rights since they gave chicks the right to vote?
if u r a gurl does wearing a female condom make u feel ‘dominate’ like ur ‘the man’?
do u wish they made ‘clit’ condoms?

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#WeNeed2Talk: ‘yo bref stank’


hi i’m worried abt u and our ‘relaish’. seems it’s hard to ‘get close’ 2 u anymore. finding it hard 2 ‘stay hard’ after frenching ur ‘raw sewage mouth’. time for me to just come out and say it……

…..i’m rlly sorry but….

‘Yo Bref Stank’

before u get 2 upset pls know that i still ā¤ and i still believe in u.

according to this article the old 'breathing stank breath in2 a cupped hand to check 4 bad bref' method doesn't work and instead u should use the patented 'feline' method where u lick the back of ur hand:

“Smelling your own breath in cupped hands is not the best way to check for halitosis, Katz says. Instead, lick the back of your hand, let it dry for a few seconds, and then smell the surface.”

here’s a pic demonstrating how 2 check for stanky breaths

also before u go running out to buy a rlly expensive digital sonicare or apple iBrush with ‘smartbrush’ technology just know that according to this article brushing ur teef is a ‘total waste of time’:

“It’s important to remember that bad breath is typically not a sign of bad dental hygiene. “It usually has nothing to do with teeth,” Katz says. “You can have good teeth, rotten teeth or no teeth at all and still have bad breath. It has to do with the tongue.”
Think of your tongue as a shaggy carpet and your mouth as a mobile chemistry lab. More than 600 types of bacteria are found in the average mouth. Many of those bacteria get trapped under the surface of the tongue and cause the bad breath.”

i hope u get ur bref situation under control. otherwise we might have to pursue a more ‘pretty woman’/’prostitute’ type of relaish and enact a ‘no kissing’ rule.

glad we had this chance 2 talk. ur still my special angel. u just taste like an ‘sweaty a$$hole’ when we kiss and i’m just not into ‘a$$2mouth’ srry. hope u understand sweetie.

ā¤ u

urs 4eae,

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