Obama decides 2 ‘pardon’ a bunch of criminals including George HW Bush. Barry-O claims they’ve ‘earned their freedom’.


barry obama is the prez of the U$A and with great power comes cool ‘lifehacks’ like pardoning dangerous criminals. so yeah it’s pretty f’d up yall but the law is set in stone and it allows for Barry to bestow ‘medals of freedom’ on imprisoned folks and set them free back in2 society. i guess he wanted to let loose 15 ‘convicts’. i rlly hope they are fully rehabbed & ready 4 life outside of the ‘big house’.

the article talks abt the ppl he freed. i guess they were a bunch of hardened criminals like Yo-Yo mom, and George H. Christ Bush:

“President Obama awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom on Tuesday to former President George H.W. Bush and 14 others, including poet Maya Angelou, cellist Yo-Yo Ma, investor Warren Buffett and basketball legend Bill Russell.”

do u think it’s a good idea to give the prezzydent a ‘get out of jail free’ card?

do u wonder what other ‘above the law’ stuff the president gets to do?

can he hunt & kill someone in a ‘most dangerous game’ and then pardon himself?
is he allowed to ‘legally’ drink & drive/prostitue himself/smoke dank buds/set a theater on fire/threaten 2 ‘kill’ the prez/ignore fbi warnings and freely duplicate vhs tapes????

“No one man should have all that power
The clock’s tickin’, I just count the hours
Stop trippin’, I’m trippin’ off the power” – kanway west live from folsom prison.

r u sad that kanyea west/LiLo/T.I./charlie mansons/mumia/Varg Vikernes/bernie madoff/bernie sanders didn’t get pardoned with freedom medals?

is barry obamas a true freedom meddler or is he a freemason?
would u rather have freedom or free beer?
do the freedom medals come at a cost? or are they free?

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Will the ‘female’ condom be the new San Francisco treat?


so i guess ppl in san fran are super excited abt ‘female’ condoms and the city’s official ‘sex generals’ decided to give them 2 everyone in town… even ghey dudes. one has to wonder whether this enthusiasm is warranted especially 4 a contraceptive device that resembles a giant plastic bag that u put grocerys in.

the article describes female condoms as:

“The female condom is a plastic pouch that is used during intercourse to prevent pregnancy and reduce the risk of sexually transmitted diseases. It has flexible rings at each end. Just before vaginal intercourse, it is inserted deep into the vagina. The ring at the closed end holds the pouch in the vagina. The ring at the open end stays outside the vaginal opening during intercourse. And during anal intercourse, it is inserted into the anus.”

have u ever used a female condom? has n e one ever used a female condom? rlly have u ever even heard of one being used by anyone???
i wonder who manufactures them. are u mad that ur tax money is used 4 making female condoms instead of going towards education/starving ppl/roads/chemical weapons/al gore/poor wall street bros/peta?
if two ghey dudes use a female condom is it still called a female condom?
do they have shemale condoms?
does ‘don’t ask don’t tell’ apply when u use a ‘female’ condom for ghey sex?
is using a ‘female’ condom a sin? or is god/pope/palin ok with them cause it allows the peen to ‘breathe’ more during sex?

i kinda think female condoms are rlly pointless. like unless u have a grocery bag fetish u should prolly just ‘man up’ & just use a regular ‘male’ condom.

do u ever use ‘alternative condoms’ like saran wrap/water balloon/tin foil/tupperware/bubble wrap/fly paper? do they work ‘just as good’ but totally cheaper??

❤ my bubblewrap condom alternative

are u super hornie wen u think abt ‘the idea’ of a female condom?
are ‘female’ condoms the most important thing to happen in womyn’s rights since they gave chicks the right to vote?
if u r a gurl does wearing a female condom make u feel ‘dominate’ like ur ‘the man’?
do u wish they made ‘clit’ condoms?

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#WeNeed2Talk: ‘yo bref stank’


hi i’m worried abt u and our ‘relaish’. seems it’s hard to ‘get close’ 2 u anymore. finding it hard 2 ‘stay hard’ after frenching ur ‘raw sewage mouth’. time for me to just come out and say it……

…..i’m rlly sorry but….

‘Yo Bref Stank’

before u get 2 upset pls know that i still ❤ and i still believe in u.

according to this article the old 'breathing stank breath in2 a cupped hand to check 4 bad bref' method doesn't work and instead u should use the patented 'feline' method where u lick the back of ur hand:

“Smelling your own breath in cupped hands is not the best way to check for halitosis, Katz says. Instead, lick the back of your hand, let it dry for a few seconds, and then smell the surface.”

here’s a pic demonstrating how 2 check for stanky breaths

also before u go running out to buy a rlly expensive digital sonicare or apple iBrush with ‘smartbrush’ technology just know that according to this article brushing ur teef is a ‘total waste of time’:

“It’s important to remember that bad breath is typically not a sign of bad dental hygiene. “It usually has nothing to do with teeth,” Katz says. “You can have good teeth, rotten teeth or no teeth at all and still have bad breath. It has to do with the tongue.”
Think of your tongue as a shaggy carpet and your mouth as a mobile chemistry lab. More than 600 types of bacteria are found in the average mouth. Many of those bacteria get trapped under the surface of the tongue and cause the bad breath.”

i hope u get ur bref situation under control. otherwise we might have to pursue a more ‘pretty woman’/’prostitute’ type of relaish and enact a ‘no kissing’ rule.

glad we had this chance 2 talk. ur still my special angel. u just taste like an ‘sweaty a$$hole’ when we kiss and i’m just not into ‘a$$2mouth’ srry. hope u understand sweetie.

❤ u

urs 4eae,

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#GoodSport: Bill Murray wins US Open & becomes known as the ‘worlds best golfer’!!

link: http://nymag.com/daily/entertainment/2011/02/bill_murray_pro-am_champion.html

so bill murray has ‘rocked’ the golfing world by coming out of nowhere and winning the US Open! he is now widely regarded as the GREATEST GOLFER EVER. Golf is a sport that has for years been played by and dominated by african-americans like Tiger Woods and Jack Nicklaus. But it seems that bill murray was the ‘great white hope’ that the sport’s caucasian fans have been waiting 4.

this article was rlly ‘in-depth’ journalism. and according to the bro who wrote it. bill murray winning golf was just an inevitable because:

“Well, Murray won, because he’s Bill Murray! Of course he did. “

i guess when Tiger Woody found out that he had been ‘dethroned’ and was now just a golf B-lister now and he got super pissed and spit all over the green where he was golfing!

here’s the footage of Tiger Woods reaction to Bill Murray beating him in golf:

OMG! tiger seems rlly mad yall!

do u ❤ billy murrays?
r u glad 2 see a 'white' guy dominating the sport of golf for once?

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#WebTrends: The internet to end soon. No more web-‘Cerf’-ing :-o . Bye Bye Webby u’ll b missed :(

link: http://www.nytimes.com/2011/02/15/technology/15internet.html?partner=rss&emc=rss

just read this rlly crazy article in the New Yorkie Times. it’s all abt this elderly bro named Vint Cerf and he says the internet is going to end soon. he says the interweb was a ‘fun experiment’ but it’s time 4 us all to: move on/grow up/get back2nature.
i’m kinda feelin’ sad abt this news since i live on the internet and when the internet dies….

….. i

…. will

…. die 😦

kinda feel like this is the ‘real life’ version of The Neverending Story. like vint cerf invented the internet and then he grew up, became a ‘man’, and put away childish things like webbynets. And now the NET is being destroyed by ‘the nothing’.

“say my name Vinty Cerfie, SAY MY NAME! PLS!!!” – the princess of neverland stories

i guess the net is running out of IP addys which r like the fossil fuels of the internet. once they are depleted they will never grow back!! 😦

don’t know if ‘green’ IP addys r an option but it seems like Vint Cerf is just like ‘who gives a F’ let’s just shut the whole thing down.

according to the article ‘industry savvy insiders’ and ‘tech gurus’ have know abt this 4 awhile now but just didn’t care because they are just bored of the internet and are ready for it to end so they can ‘move on’ with their lives:

“Experts saw this problem coming years ago, and the transition to a new system, referred to as Internet Protocol version 6, is well under way. This new standard will support a virtually inexhaustible number of devices, experts say. But there is some cause for concern because the two systems are largely incompatible, and as the transition takes place, the potential for breakdowns is enormous.”

what will u ‘do with ur life’ when the internet shuts it’s cyberdoors forever?
will u start living IRL? will u learn how to physically ‘write’ words again & replace internet friends with penpals?
how will u maintain ur daily pr0n intake?
are u sad but also kind of excited for the new post-internet age?

r u excited to see the sun again and become a ‘daywalker’?

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Cyber Scandal! New Shocking and Controversial ‘Chat Room’ Convos from IBM’s WATSON surface!


Just got done watching IBM’s new android/cyborg/cyberbully Watson compete on the new hit game show Jeopardys. He started off kickin’ major a$$ but then his battery must have been running low or something ’cause he ended up with $5,000 and being in a tie with sum other contestant bro. But what’s rlly f’d up is that i was doing sum online research on Watson’s past and i found this ‘shocking’ article where some of Watson’s ‘chat room’ convos have surfaced and they’re rlly messed up and controversial yall. How well do we rlly know WATSON?? he mite not be the ‘all-american-hero’ that he is trying 2 portray on TV. he mite be more like an ‘all-american-rejects’…. just another internet low-life trolling chat rooms and msg boards lookin’ for ‘cybersex’ and making jokes abt 9/11.

according to the article Watson used to use the online screenname ‘cleverbot’ to disguise his identity online(kind of a conceited screenname imho).

here’s a screen shot from the article of watson(aka cleverbot) having cyber sex! OMG!!!

& here’s another chat room convo from the article where he both reveals himself as a 9/11 ‘truther’ and at the sametime makes joke out of the 9/11 tragedy! WATSON have u no shame!!

r u shocked at how f’d up WATSON is when he’s not ‘on-camera’??
r u gonna boycott IBM now?

do u think WATSON’s future is in ‘jeopardy’? will IBM ‘plug the plug’ and ‘euthanize’ WATSON when they find out that he’s a dangerous cyberperv?

do u think WATSON knows the truth about the controversial 9/11-banana connection????

here’s sum footage of watson in action in january:

will the nation 4give WATSON after this scandal? do u think he will lose endorsement deals over this?

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#Hacktivism: True Beliebers shut down Wikileaks after grammy snub! OMG!

link: http://voices.washingtonpost.com/blog-post/2011/02/esperanza_spalding_gets_wikipe.html

Lesbian Popstar Justine Bieber got totally dissed hard by the Grammys last night & didn’t win best new artist. the award instead went to another woman named Esperanza Spalding who no one has ever heard of. I don’t know anything abt Esperazna but i’m thinking she is a ‘golden-voiced’ ex-homeless person turned meme-musician that was created by the internet like Antoine Dodson, Ted Willams, and Josh Groban.

after this rlly tragic news fans of Justine Bieber decided to ‘hack the world’ and DDos’ed/NES’ed the eff out of the popular blog Wikileaks.

according to this article the Bieber hacktivists were totally cyber bullies and waged a major spam war against Esperanza Spalding’s wikileaks profile page:

“For the next thirteen minutes, a battle raged on the page between Bieber fans and Bieber anti-fans. “BIBER 4 LYFE!” appeared at the top of the page. It was stricken from the record and “HaHa Justin Bieber, you’re just a little boy with no Grammy for Best New Artist” appeared in its stead.

The sparing went back and forth until finally a Wikipedia clampdown went into effect and the page was locked from anonymous editors.

Bieber fans have a wide digital bullying reach, often harassing non-Bieber fans on Twitter, in YouTube videos and now on Wikipedia.”

do u think the grammys are a rlly homophobic awards show & dissed Justine Bieber because she’s a lesbian?
did u join the online hacking battle with the other True Beliebers Hacktivists or did ur computers ‘parental controls’ limit the reach of ur cyberbullying because ur a tween?
are u part of the Esperanza Spalding ‘birther’ movement and think her grammy should be suspended until she can provide a valid USA birth certificate?

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